5th Shoe of Baileys - Love Hotel Event [locked to numanstan]

[shoeofbaileys]

[Old Gregg wasn’t used to the fineries of hotels. Those were big city things, and Old Gregg wouldn’t have often cared for them. But there was a difference in this one: it was based around love. And if there was anything in the whole world Gregg DID care for, it was love. Directed at him. Especially from Howard.

So he wasn’t quite AS pissed when he woke up away from where he was used to waking up. The big soft bed he was on certainly wasn’t as wonderful as, say, the big pile of moss and discarded cloth he had back home, but he guessed there was worse shit to wake up on. And he could feel the warmth of someone next to him. Oh, Old Gregg liked that. Yes sir. Excited, he turned around, not wanting to wake Howard up and-

He stopped. And just stared, eyes glassy, at the long-haired twig of a man in his bed. Just staring.

And then screaming. And not his name for once. Just noise. And to be quite honest, if you ever wondered what a fish-man screaming sounded like? Somewhat like a staticy howler monkey.

Wakey wakey, Vince.]

Comments

[numanstan.livejournal.com]

[There are probably worse ways to wake up. I can't think of any right now, but I'm sure there are.

Vince half-fell, half-scrambled from the bed, getting his feet caught in the sheets and slamming his head against the wall. oh god what is going on I am twelve years old and what is this]

What the hell're y'doin' here!

[shoeofbaileys.livejournal.com]

[Yes, there are worse ways to wake up. Such as the fact that Gregg is scrambling forward, trying to grab Vince. Gregg almost sounds afraid when he speaks. Of course, it's hard to tell exactly how Gregg feels when he talks. The man(?) can't really emote.]

Old Gregg oughta be askin' you why you take Old Gregg outta his home! First you steal the funk, now you tryin' to steal Old Gregg? That your game, boytoy?

[Yes. Because you're the insane kidnapper of the two, aren't you Vince?]

[numanstan.livejournal.com]

I ain't done nothin'! I don't even know what's goin' on!

[OH GOD THERE'S A DOOR THERE brb lunging for it]

[shoeofbaileys.livejournal.com]

Oh, you know plenty you little city git! How else Old Gregg get here? You tryin' to play games with Old Gregg? Cause Old Gregg don't wanna play no games with you!

[And to show just how utterly helpful he is, Gregg is picking up one of the lamps and trying to throw that shit at you, Vince.]

[numanstan.livejournal.com]

[There are so many unanswered questions here. Where are they? How did they get there? Why does God hate me so?

Unfortunately, they shall stay unanswered, as the door is not even bothering to budge. Vince finds this much more disconcerting than the lamp hitting his back.]

Open, dammit!

[shoeofbaileys.livejournal.com]

[Well, Old Gregg's worked out some of his anger at you Vince. But not quite. So for the moment, he's going to do some investigating of his own and see if there are any windows.

So he can throw you out one.]

There ain't no windows in this mother! Ain't you supposed to have windows in a nice hotel? What cheap shit place you take Old Gregg to?

[numanstan.livejournal.com]

I haven't taken y'anywhere, y'weirdo! Must be the bloody town's fault-- son of a--

[He bangs on the door, legitimately expecting that to work for some reason.]

Oi, lemme out! Y'can't keep me in here! I'm too young and famous to die!

[shoeofbaileys.livejournal.com]

[Gregg's just going back and sitting cross-legged on the bed, staring at you.]

Ain't gonna happen. No sir. No one answer that shrill little voice or yours already, no one gonna hear to begin with.

Think you got famous and infamous mixed up. Old Gregg know the difference. No your band infamous for bein' no good.

[numanstan.livejournal.com]

Y'can't just give up!

[He turns around slightly. Oh no you did not.]

Yeah, right, like I'm really gonna listen to criticism from somebody who lives under a lake.

[shoeofbaileys.livejournal.com]

Old Gregg not gonna give up. Old Gregg got a plan.

[Just smiling wide like the psychopath he is, Vince.]

Think you knew you ain't as good as you think you are. Yes sir. Think you know how right all them reviews are, them people willin' to run you outta town cause your music damn near killed them.

Think you know who the weak link in your band is to.

[numanstan.livejournal.com]

Hey, don't say stuff 'bout Howard like that! He tries well hard, even with his condition...

[so reassured] ... What plan?

[shoeofbaileys.livejournal.com]

Old Gregg knows Howard tries hard. Circus clowns try funny to be hard too, but they still ain't.

[Gregg just raises a finger and looks through the small drawer on the bedside cabinet. Finally, he takes out a Gideon's Bible and shakes it a bit at Vince.]

[numanstan.livejournal.com]

... Alright, you've lost me.

[shoeofbaileys.livejournal.com]

Old Gregg gonna find himself some religion, motherlicker. And when God see how pious Old Gregg is, He gonna rock his ass on down here and open that door.

[numanstan.livejournal.com]

... I don't think that's how it works...

[shoeofbaileys.livejournal.com]

That ain't no way to be pious. That ain't gonna impress him. How we gonna get him down if you like that? You a retard or somethin'?

[numanstan.livejournal.com]

You're the one expectin' God to come open a door for you, and I'm retarded?

[shoeofbaileys.livejournal.com]

Old Gregg don't like that.

Maybe Old Gregg ask God to smite your ass, while he at it. Old Gregg get a win-win situation going.

[numanstan.livejournal.com]

Fine, whatever. Y'do that, and I'll try to actually get out.

[And with that, he tries to open the door again.

Many times.

For quite a while.]

... Dear God of Openin' Doors, I know I don't always pray to you-- sometimes I don't even think y'exist-- but please open this door, I'm too cool to die...

[shoeofbaileys.livejournal.com]

You facin' the wrong way, numbnuts. Gotta be facin' away from the door when you prayin' for Him to open it, otherwise you gonna be seein' all his door-opening glory.

[numanstan.livejournal.com]

I'm new to this whole "gettin' gods to open doors" thing, alright!

[He kicks the door for good measure.] This is so bloody stupid! The least they could've done was stick me with somebody I like! Or 'least somebody who's not completely mental!

[shoeofbaileys.livejournal.com]

You don't like Old Gregg?

[Yes Vince. He seems genuinely surprised to hear this.]

[numanstan.livejournal.com]

... Y'kidnapped and try to marry my best mate. Y'tried to kill me. Why would I like y'in the slightest?

[shoeofbaileys.livejournal.com]

[He thinks for a minute Vince. He's honestly wracking his brain for just the perfect response. Finally, it comes to him. And it will change your perception of Old Gregg forever.]

I'M OLD GREGG!!

[numanstan.livejournal.com]

... Yeah, exactly.

[TRYING THE DOOR AGAIN OPEN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD]